The Ultimate Battle: Joey vs Kaiba
by dragon-master11
Summary: A story where all the characters are normal, and no one is gay or bi! This is the story about the battle that never happened: this is the battle between Joey Wheeler and Seto Kaiba-written as if it were a t.v. episode-READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!


The Ultimate Battle: Joey vs. Kaiba

By: dragon_master

Disclaimer for the story: I DON'T OWN YUGI-OH! Just the plot is mine =D

Summary:  A story where none of the characters are gay or bi! This is basically a story about the duel that never happened: Joey vs. Kaiba.  Written as if it were an episode-hope you like it.

Chapter 1:  Hamburgers and Dueling…

 It was a day at battle city with Yugi, Joey, Tea, and Tristan. 

          "Damn I'm hungry," said Joey.

          "Tell us something we don't know," said Tea.

          "Hey, you would think a guy like me would be hungry after getting the third Egyptian god card from Marik huh?" He held up the Egyptian god card. 

"Man, I love this thing," said Joey.

          "Uh… Joey, Yugi gave that card to you, in Battle City in Kaiba Corps." said Tristan.

          "Keep talking Tristan and your life will be a living hell." said Joey.

          "Hey guys stop fighting, Joey earned that card, after all its not our fault that Joey can't get a card by himself," said Yugi.

          "Damn stra-… WHAT!!!!!" yelled Joey. Everybody started laughing.

(Later in the battle city at Kaiba Corp.) 

"I can't believe Wheeler got that last Egyptian God card," said Kaiba," he is a disgrace to all the duelists in this city."

          "But Seto, he is in the finals I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't defeated Marik all by himself," said Mokuba. 

          "Stop it Mokuba, you and I both know that Yugi was always helping him in every duel he has been in since he arrived in the duelist kingdom." Said Kaiba. 'I know he wouldn't last one minute against me in a duel.' Kaiba thought to himself. 

"That's it Mokuba, I'm going to challenge Wheeler in a duel," said Kaiba."and I'm going to win that Egyptian God card, I'm going to leave at 3:00, you coming Mokuba?" 

          "You betcha big brother." said Mokuba.

          3:00 came. The chopper arrived and both the Kaiba brothers climbed in. 

           "Mokuba, track down Joey Wheeler's dueling disc," said Kaiba.

          "Let's see… GOT IT!!!! What the hell? Seems Joey is eating at battle city's hamburger restraunt," said Mokuba. 

          "Then I guess chow time is over for him and his card," said Kaiba, "Pilot, start to descend." 

          "Yes sir," the pilot replied.

          "Big juicy burger… Can't. Resist… Let's eat here guys!!!" yelled Joey. He ran inside, cut everybody in line, and said: 

"5 half-pound burgers, 3 XL fries, and 1 large battle city cup of coke. What do you guys want?"

          "I don't know if there is anything left for us to order," said Tristan.

          "That will be $60.89 sir," said the cashier.

"WHHAAATTT!!!! $60.89!" exclaimed Joey.  "No precious hamburger!!! Wahhh!! After all my dueling, and making it into the finals, this is what I get? A bill?"

          "Well, why didn't you say so, you know that if you are in the finals you can eat at any restraunt in battle city for FREE!!!" said the cashier. "Hey, you back there, start preparing this order." 

          "You mean I get to eat for free?!?!" asked Joey. "Whoa baby! In that case, I'll have everything on this menu!" 

5 minutes later Joey got all his food. "Wow, fast food."

          "Hey buddy, you better share that with me," said Tristan.

          "Kiss my ass!" said Joey. Kaiba arrived at the restraunt.

"WHEELER!!!!" he yelled.

"What??? OH, IT'S KAIBA!!!" said Joey. "What do you want this time Kaiba? Can't you see that I'm eating at the moment?"

"I challenge you to a duel," said Kaiba." And saying no is against the rules."

"My hamburger… I need it," said Joey.

"Cut the act Wheeler, and let's duel for your Egyptian god card."

"What you crazy," said Joey. 

"Maybe I am," said Kaiba 

"AHHHHAHAHAH!!! YOU GOT YOURSELF A DUEL KAIBA AND I PROMISE IT'LL BE YOUR LAST!!!" yelled Joey.

"DON'T DO IT JOEY!" yelled Tea.

" I have to Tea, I've had enough of his pathetic bullshit on me. Now I'm going to beat him and then everything is going to change." Said Joey.

'Wow Joey sure is confident. I think for once he could be right and beat Kaiba.' Yugi thought to himself. 

"Go get him Joey, remember to believe in the heart of the cards. And don't forget, we also believe in you!" Yugi yelled.

"LET'S DUEL!!!!!!" Joey and Kaiba both yelled.

A/N:  So how was it? Next chapter:  Part one of the battle-new tactics, new strategies, etc. More humor from Joey, and lots of dueling monsters!  REVIEW ME PLEASE!!! This is my first fanfic =D


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